Apparently you make a good broom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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