His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
