This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
