I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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