her vagine was all disorganized.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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