3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
