so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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