Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
he just fucked me for my cheese.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
