Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
