how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
