I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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