I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
