Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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