nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
