I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
