Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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