I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
