Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
