She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
