holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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