Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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