i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
