i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
