I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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