I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
