there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
