i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
