Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
a search helicopter?!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
