I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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