you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
