if i can run in heels then i can drive
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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