the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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