You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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