He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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