You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
