it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
