He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
wow bdsm is so cute
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
