how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You dont lie about slip and slides
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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