Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
