i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
