I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
