In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
