so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
