dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
