Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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