One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
