"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
