I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
