So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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