i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
