Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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