Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
