I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
