We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
