we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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